The Homophobe Argument

I'm inundated with assignments and work at the moment (all of which I'm behind on, but hey, not all of us can be Einstein - someone has to be the beauty in front of the brains) but I wanted to do a quick post about something that has been bothering me. I like to call it "The Homophobe Argument". Now, this could be interpreted in many ways I know, but what I'm specifically referring to is the diatribe that all homophobes come up with as a reason for "why being gay is wrong".

It goes like this: It's not natural, animals don't do it, so it's not natural for humans to do it because we are animals. I have so many problems with this stupid exclamation I don't even know where to begin, and I'm not even gay. 

First of all, yes animals do have sex with animals of the same sex. Monkeys do it all the time. In fact, some monkey species are more likely to have a sexual partner of the same sex. Now, if there are any homophobic people out there reading this right now: I apologise. It's okay, you aren't dying, I know that your tiny mind has just been blown but it's A-OK. Go and find a dark corner in a dark room where you can spend time thinking about what a terrible person you have been your whole homophobic life, feel bad about it. Once you've gotten over it start to walk towards the light and... ta-da welcome to your new life as a better person. If you are a homophobic person who happens to be religious, then I'm sorry to tell you this buddy, God made gay monkeys. It was on the Wednesday, you know, when he'd had enough of the pressure of making a planet and decided to smoke a joint, he discovered free love and gay monkeys were born. Deal with it. 

Second of all, if we are basing all things "natural" around what our comrades in The Animal Kingdom are doing, then we are well and truly fucked. Let's just take the argument of "animals don't do it, so we shouldn't do it" as a basis for all good decision making in human life. Let's take it as a template, shall we? Animals don't wash regularly, animals don't use iPads, animals don't listen to music, animals don't use Facebook, animals don't live in concrete/brick/wooden houses, animals eat each other, animals don't take medicine they just DIE, animals don't drink bottled water, animals shit themselves, animals don't go to school - you see what I'm getting at here? There are so many things that humans do that other animals don't do, it's them that should be taking the advice from us, not the other way around.

That's all I can think of for now. I would also like to mention that I am saying "sex" in the loosest terms. Because I know lesbians who are attracted to women with XY chromosomes (they are women but have been accidentally assigned-male at birth, because doctors get it wrong, for those who don't know). So you don't have to be attracted to someone of the same sex (i.e. chromosomes etc) to be gay. So if you see what I'm saying, sex and gender don't really have anything to do with it, which is why animals are another terrible comparison with humans because they don't have the complicated, intimate understanding of sexuality and gender that we have the potential to. Unfortunately there are many humans stunting that potential by being stupid.

Ta-da.

"The Walking Dead" drinking game

My favourite person in the world and I decided to get a bit tipsy whilst watching The Walking Dead. As it happened we got pretty drunk but in order to proceed to this state of mind, we had to make a game first. This is our game:

Rules:

• Take a drink every time Rick shouts "Carl!" in that incredibly southern American accent he has. Alternatively if he sounds like Paul from Llamas with Hats, that counts as well. Oh and if it sounds more like "Kerrl!", you can drink to that as well.
• Take a sip of that bevvy every time Michone kills someone with her ninja skills and the sword of death.
• Take a drink every time someone over kills something big time. I.e. the zombie is clearly already dead, you can stop turning it's head into purple pulp now. (We decided that every character has this moment when they go crazy for no reason at least once series).
• Take a sup every time Carl is a CUNT. Yes, this is how we became so drunk.
• Take a drink for each zombie that you see that's completely mangled, squashed and severed but is still squawking away like a little parrot. I.e. they haven't had their head bashed in yet.
• Take a drink every time Rick does the "Classic Rick Sidewards Squinty Stare".
• Take a good ole gulp every time there is definite sexual tension/there's a romantic moment. This includes kissing and probably hugging. There ain't a lot of choice in The Walking Dead so any living human contact probably excites some sort of sexual desire.
• Take a glug every time there's a Mexican Stand-off.
• Have a refreshing drink every time that Glenn has a self-pity party.
• Hold back the rock star in you and take a drink every time a Southern Rock song comes on.
• Take a big drink every time the three questions are asked.
• Continuously drink throughout every pointless filler episode. For example, the episode that basically consisted of Glenn being thrown down a well, on a string, to fish out a zombie that was caught in there. Exciting stuff.

GET IT ALL DOWN YOU IF A MAIN CHARACTER DIES. 

You'll know if it's a main character or not because you'll either not care or be reduced to tears. I'm not one to cry at TV series or films but Walking Dead has brought tears to my eyes on more than one occasion. It's emotional okay.

Safe to say being drunk made the whole "apocalypse thing" easier to manage because, it's true, The Walking Dead can get a bit intense at times.

Shower thought #1: Video is like radio for the eyes.

So inspired by the Reddit sub /r/ShowerThoughts I decided to make my own version... my... own... shower thoughts.

Anyway, I was high yesterday with a friend and after making the most amazing den in the world, with unicorns painted on it, we were deciding what to do next. I said,

"Let's make a radio show. Ooh no let's make a vlog, it's radio for your eyes". 

My weed fogged brain did not compute what I'd just said, but my friend Georgia quickly realised the momentous significance of that phrase. Video really is like radio for the eyes. Your ears register sound and your imagination translates that into images and meaning when you listen to the radio and when you watch a video it is your brain taking the images and translating them into a context. 


Safe to say this realisation has changed my life and made my eyeballs tingle (but perhaps that was just the marijuana). Despite how brainless people may now think that I am, I feel that I've made a profound discovery. 

Thank you and Goodnight.