So yesterday evening, as I was getting ready for bed in my sexy flannel dressing gown, I noticed a glass on the bathroom radiator. As I inspected the glass further I recoiled in horror when I noticed the state of the bottom of this poor object. It looked like it hadn't been washed in about 10 years. The mildew/mould/whatever it was was crusted to the bottom like a gross gremlin, clinging on and staring up at me cackling evilly. After the shock subsided and I realised that I wasn't going to die, I had to laugh. It is only in a student house that you would find a glass glued to the radiator with grime, in the one room in the house that's supposed to be clean. I took a picture and posted an obligatory hashtag to Instagram (obviously, I mean who wouldn't?!). To add to this display of disgrace I went into my room and saw a glass of what I can only assume used to be milk, but is now (because I still haven't moved it) turned into yoghurt. It actually smelled quite appetising, like Aldi's own brand Greek style pseudo-natural yoghurt.
This is what inspired me to write this post. It is true that there are some things that only students will do and understand - other normal people just don't quite get it.
Food. Let us begin here. There is no combination nor recipe that a student will reject or question. A packet of boil-in-the-bag rice smothered in olive oil, mixed with uncooked curry paste (not even sauce) and a sprinkling of herbs (possibly gravy if you're in the North) won't even receive the batting of an eyelid. This is actually a true story. My Italian roommate last year created this bizarre concoction. To be fair he didn't enjoy it, but he ate it anyway. That's another thing, food never goes to waste. Even if it falls on the kitchen floor that's a breeding ground for Salmonella, punctuated by the remnants of last weeks chicken noodle soup and a rainbow of different types of crumb, you still gobble it up like it was Gordon Ramsay's own creation.
"Smoke weed everyday"... Yes, that's right, everybody knows it. It's one of your five a day (it's green), helps you relax and can make all your troubles go away. It is a student's best friend and ally when that Philosophy essay just isn't flowing right and you need that little push in the right direction. It's not an addiction, it's just that every night someone suggests watching a film and before you know it you're watching The Matrix wondering if you'll ever see the sun again, and then a spliff/joint/doobie/biff/biffter is in your hand and everything is alright again. One thing that you do learn is that a spliff is not just a spliff, it can be all manner of different things depending on where you grew up. Fascinating.
Cuddling. I don't know what happened between first year (when I was honestly allergic to cuddling) and second year, but seriously I think aliens beamed me up whilst I was asleep and did something to my brain because I can't go a day without snuggling up to someone. Every student has experienced the following situation: you're sitting on the sofa, doing work, one of your housemates comes in after a shitty day and sits down next to you, leans on your shoulder. Your other housemate sees through a crack in the door and comes in and joins the head leaning. Before you know it, your work is flying all over the place, someone has belly flopped on top of you all and there's ten people tangled together under a quilt watching a cat compilation on YouTube. It happens, it's just a fact of life.
These are my typical student experiences, what are yours?
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